Confessions of a Cereal Dater

I was recently at dinner with a friend from elementary school and a friend from high school and they both firmly agreed that I was boy crazy growing up. At first it came as a surprise, and then after a really long time of about five minutes, I realize that it was true and that I am still boy crazy.

I guess one is just born boy crazy and I have forced myself into a dating sabbatical this year to slow down the serial dating that I have done over the years and to take the time to find the perfect man for me.

What is more true about me is that I am also cereal crazy, and could never imagine not having at least two different kinds in my house at one time. I develop mad crushes on cereals and cannot get enough of a specific cereal and no other will do. My cereal crushes do not last long, even though I have my back pocket cereals that I can always rely on to fill the need. The first is Trader Joes Granola Clusters and the second is Froot Loops. I am not sure that either one is my perfect cereal but they come so close that I sometimes dream about how good they are.

My first crushes developed about the same time. At six I was ready to move past the childhood standard of Cheerios. My first cereal crushes were always based on true substance, of the toy prize variety. Many times I grabbed the toy and let the cereal go stale and neglected. My boy crush was a quick summer romance and he was older but can no longer remember his name or what he looked like. Looking back I think he just happened to be there and I thought of him as the toy in the box. As an adult, I realize there was no substance, nor loyalty to the cereal or Boy Number One. As my boy craziness grew, I had to wait a while for my looks to catch up since I was not the cutest second grader.

My awkward years were filled with unrequited crushes on boys and I decided that I could spend all my energy on developing a solid relationship with some cereals. I learned that Super Sugar Crisps, Honey Smacks, Apple Jacks, and Cocoa Krispies were not for me. But the love for Cap’n Crunch, Golden Grahams, Rice Krispies, Frosted Flakes, Fruity Pebbles, Cookie Crisps and a wide variety of other cereals that are already making my heart beat a little faster.

At 16, I was about to hit a dating rush as I finally started to come into my own. Some would think I would find one boyfriend and love him, but alas it seems that finally having options, I went a little astray and felt that dating a wide selection of young men was the way to go. This was also the time period when variety packs of cereals were all the rage. I could try a new man and a cereal out on Tuesday, but not have to be committed for when Saturday came with a new man and cereal.

In college, I tried to settle down and started trying out more healthy cereals. I went through an obsession for Cracklin Oat Bran along with my fascination with Harry who was a little intense and focused. With Jason who was a college baseball player it seems that I liked frosted shredded wheat, but that relationship was always in flux so I probably also ate Cookie Crisp at the same time. With the first love of my life came Reese’s Peanut Butter Cereal which still to this day reminds me of his personality of being a bad boy that was completely fun, but not really good for you in any way.

As I tried to find myself, I tried dating different “responsible” men and eating responsible cereals. I found the staid and boring banker to be All Bran, the same old stories attorney to be a bit like Raisin Bran, the do-gooder always wanted to eat stale granola that got soggy with milk, the parking and traffic expert still reminds me of the expected Cheerios. The single dad who wanted to be a good father but had a slight rebellious edge started to break me of these cereals and re-introduced me to the joys of children’s cereal.

I have rediscovered the joy of fun cereals and not the misery of eating cereal because it is healthy. The cereal industry has adapted to modern times and they now fortify them with vitamins, calcium, fiber, and use whole wheats. When I put Special K and Froot Loops together the numbers are pretty darn close enough to realize that I want to have fun while I look for the right cereal or man. I no longer am bound by the expected cereals, but can still have almost endless possibilities.

While I may be a date a lot, I still think that being a cereal dater is much more fun and rewarding.