Will This Day Ever Be Easy

We have made it to another September 11th here in America. It is the one day each year where we walk on egg shells, always hesitant to schedule a meeting or a date for fear of being disrespectful. A day when we can forgive the most rude outburst, because you cannot be sure if the person next to you lost someone. This year was no different, and having a meeting and training scheduled, I felt guilty that we have the ability to write an appointment on my calendar when so many were lost to us on this date.

I woke this morning with more than the normal unawake lethargy I suffer daily. I woke to a non tropical storm but with tropical speed winds today, which means it poured rain and gusted wind at an uncomfortable force. It was a very angry type of weather. As I was getting ready, the news was cutting to New York at 8:45 for a moment of silence. The NYPD Bagpipe band was playing and the faces of sorrow and torment were there as the moment of silence was just beginning, I had chills spread through my body.

A few minutes later as I was debating the importance of which pants I would wear with my rain boots, the newscaster stated that eight years ago, America learned of a plane accident that changed our lives. This was one of those tragedies that you will never forget in your life and will replay over and over again. That day, as I walked down the hall of my old job someone told me I had to see the plane crash that was on the lobby television. As I watched with my coworkers a second plane come across the screen and into the World Trade Center and create an explosion. Never in my life had I felt so helpless and completely out of any control.

So this morning as the second moment of silence approached, it seems that the tears that were last cried eight years ago started again. Today was the first rainy anniversary that we have had. The gloom and dark and rain finally matched the moods of the victims families and loved ones. I always have wished the weather would not be so perfect and glorious on September 11th. With the rain, I felt the gloom and loss more than ever before that I could not shake the thoughts of this anniversary all day. Even my random shuffled music knew that I needed music with a deep meaning today. The first song on my walk to work was "Not Ready to Make Nice" by the Dixie Chicks and then "Message in a Bottle" by the Police.

I hope this day gets easier with each year, but I hope we never forget the sense of patriotism that was created that day.




"Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting"

from Not Ready to Make Nice